Friday, June 26, 2015

Tuesday, June 9, 2015

You are Enough

A lot of things has happened during my 20s that has taught me to become a stronger person.

There will be people who will treat you indifferently or take advantage of you or make you feel less, but one thing I've learned is that you do not have to take any of that crap. The best thing is to walk away from those toxic relationships and not look back.  

Remember: Toxic relationships drain your energy. Positive relationships energize you.

Stand up for yourself.
You are enough.
You do not have to jump hoops to gain people's approval
You deserve love and belonging like any other human being.

This is something I always teach my students - to value themselves and have self-respect. And I always try to defend those who are bullied/marginalized in class. It brings me so much healing when I love and teach my students this way. 

Saturday, June 6, 2015

Conversations

"Enamorate...enamorate muchas veces, Karen. Vale la pena amar y perder.
Pero no te cases joven...los chicos de tu edad son unos mensos.
Aprende mejor a vivir tu vida. Aprende a amarte a ti misma."

---El Maestro durante unas de nuestras conversaciones en Huatulco, Oaxaca
Diciembre 2013.


Saturday, May 30, 2015

26

I'm 26. A melting pot of cultures. Mexicasian. An avid learner of life and a teacher of languages. Daughter to Chinese Immigrants living in the diaspora, sister to a doctor and friend to an eclectic mix of Christians, musicians and good-hearted people. I am a frustrated violinist, aspiring concert harpist and flamenco guitarist. Music is life and my spirit soars whenever I play or hear a good music. My heart is set upon the poor, broken and abandoned children. My dream is to become a spiritual big sister/mother to those who need God's love and affection. I am an educator and missionary. I am a free spirit and have learned from an early age that life does not fit into a box. My dream is Jesus. My meaning of life is to build God's family. I am a sinner, imperfect and broken in so many ways but by grace I am who I am...Abba's child.

Wednesday, May 27, 2015

Senegal, life and changes.

This year is full of crazy changes. 

It's funny how you may start planning and thinking lots of things for the future...but so many things can change from one day to another. You can never predict how people or situations may change. But one thing you can do is to trust in God and follow your heart.

God laughs at our plans, because they are so small compared to the great things that He has prepared for us.

This week has been a rough week to say the least - I had to let go of something dear to my heart. I've been trying to distract myself - going to the fresh spring pools with my cousins, eating street food, hiking rain forests, engaging in incessant chatter and laughter, journaling, sipping unto those moments of deep silences and serious conversations with God. I've learned to accept the reality of things, soothe the emotional pain and move on.

One thing that keeps running into my mind is the value of honesty with oneself and others. Faking it or compromising your deepest values can damage relationships and lead to an unhappy life. Though there may be sacrifices and pain, I have chosen to follow my heart. And live out the life that I have envisioned since I was 15.

Stay true to yourself.

My true self belongs to God and missions. To give up missions for a life of comfort would be a life of utter misery. I keep longing and thinking of those days I spent as a missionary in Fiji and Africa. I tasted the joy, and I keep thirsting for that joy. And that joy can only be found in the mission field.

And thus...

I am going to Senegal this Summer. I am planning to stay a month as a guardian for a children's home - basically I will be a mom and a big sister. I will be blogging about my endevours and adventures. I can't wait for what God has in store for me.





Tuesday, April 7, 2015

Routine

It's been 9 months since I moved back home.

A lot has happened during these 9 months. I got my first full-time job as a teacher, I met someone and there has been spurts of growth in my professional and personal life. 

But at times, I miss traveling and the thrill of adventure. Back in Canada, my life was unpredictable  and somewhat nomadic. I would spend 3 months studying, 2 months traveling, 2 months home, etc etc. I loved the experience of adapting, learning and the sense of newness that traveling and moving brought me. Being home offers me stability, but at times, it feels boring. Stagnant almost.

I long to travel again.

Friday, March 27, 2015

Conversations

"Ms Chang, I want to quit the Symphony after my first day."
"Why?"
"I was humiliated and I played alongside the younger kids. I felt bad."
"Let me tell you my story: I stopped playing the violin for three years when I first joined the Symphony. I was rusty and inexperienced compared to others. Like you I felt bad, but I didn't give up. I practiced and even went on tour to Washington DC. Growth starts outside of your comfort zone."
"Mhmmm."
"Do you like challenges?"
"No."
"Do you want to become a mediocre violinist?"
"No."
"Then, don't give up."
"Thanks, Ms Chang. I will take up the challenge."

Wednesday, March 18, 2015

The One who governs Dreams

"The One who governs dreams, and gives
Us everything we need, and lives
On ev’ry inch of ground we tread,
Will be with you. You will be led;
And lest you feel alone, he spoke
These words, ‘My soul will not revoke
The promise I have made. Go now."

------John Piper in Esther

Sunday, March 1, 2015

Dear M

Dear M,


I saw your father today. He came to the restaurant and ordered food. I barely recognized him...he looked much different since I last saw him in 2007, when he came to pick you up from German classes. His hair was grey, and he sighed for you.

I felt his pain.

We talked about you - about your wonderful way of living life, your smile, your accomplishments at such a young age. Even though we met briefly in life, you taught me so much with your joie de vivre attitude. The day I found out you passed away in a car accident, I cried on the bus.

I cried some more today after talking to your father. He reminded me so much of you.

The world misses you. God was gracious in creating a person like you.

Tuesday, February 24, 2015

Radically Transformed [and Amazed]

It's been a while since I last wrote in my blog. A lot of things have changed over the course of these past months.

My life has been deeply transformed by God's grace. He continues to [radically] amaze me with His love and blessing towards me. He has given me a full time job as a Secondary Teacher at a Christian School, a wonderful earthly beloved and beautiful friends. My understanding towards life and humanity has deepened as I experience an abundance of love from others.

Everyday, I hear God whisper to me: [[[You are so well-loved.]]]

No longer do I dwell in a legalistic Christian mind-set -on judging others or seeing the world as a place of right/wrong. Or wasting my energy complaining or worrying about my future. But rather, I have learned to embrace life and humanity as it is. I've learned to love freely and dearly towards those around me, specially my students. I feel more free, joyful and nourished by imitating and giving God's love towards others.